Ray Czerwinski: “The Importance of the Hard Part” (Grad Sunday)

I’ve never been good at endings, but I love beginnings. We never want to say goodbye to our graduates, but we also love the influx of faces in the fall. You know the meme with the dog that says, “No take, only throw?” Recently my prayers have felt a lot like that dog’s. I just feel like Jesus should be more focused on throwing the metaphorical ball for me, not taking it away. Although they are inseparable from beginnings, endings are hard.

One of the really important things about the theology of this ministry is that we don’t shy away from the parts of Christianity that are hard. It can be tempting to try and distill this faith down into something that is easily stomached, so bland that no one can possibly disagree. It can be tempting to say that the churches that have hurt us are not truly our family in Christ, and to skim over the passages of the Bible that make us balk. “God is love,” right? That’s true, and that is part of what I believe. But it’s a statement made of candy: sweet to taste, but on its own, lacking substance. To be honest, that kind of shallow theology has never felt worth it to me – has never actually inspired me to follow Jesus.

The sermons I’ve heard from Erica, Mark, Nii Addo, and many of you have brought an academic and historical context to the Bible that has, on any given Sunday, inspired me, confused me, and challenged me. Past the pulpit, casual conversations I’ve had with the people in this room have made me rethink worldviews I’d never questioned before.  We’ve spoken of the love and mercy of God as something radical, frightening, and offensive, going past any human notion of what is just. The scripture is clear that following Jesus means being, at the mildest, perpetually uncomfortable. But that’s more than candy – that’s something worth talking about, something to bring about growth. I love that while waiting in line for food downstairs I can mention that a sermon was a tough lesson for me, and that will be met with celebration for the opportunity it is.

I was initially hesitant about sharing today because writing this reflection was hard. It meant leaning into the close of a chapter. And since I “don’t have anything to say,” though at the same time I have too much, it’s easier to keep that door closed. But I’m trying to embrace what is hard here, in Pres House style, and say goodbye.

Pres House and all the people who make it up have all taught me the kind of person I want to be by showing me just how radically good we can be to each other. It’s taught me to give freely of what I have, and to accept others’ gifts in turn. I’ve come to church crying and been comforted, and I’m honored that I’ve had the opportunity to return the favor. I’ve rushed away after dinner without having to do my dishes, and I’ve been allowed to clean up after you in turn. Thank you for serving me and letting me do the same for you. These lessons are not easy, but they are simple.

Pres House is a beautiful building, with strong community partners supporting us, wise leaders to learn from, and people I am deeply blessed to call my friends … but it is more than the sum of any number of incredible parts. Pres House is not special because it is a gem each of us have found but because it is a seed each of us carry. When I look out to a world of unprecedented times, I am comforted knowing that wherever any of us go, we will help build something beautiful.

I encourage you to move through the world embracing what is hard, leaning on each other to do so. Rest when you need to. Remember that the Bible is not a book of people doing easy things, and it would not be compelling if it were. Maybe it’s painfully obvious that this is a scientist’s prayer, but I think if Jesus did not want us to wrestle with His teachings, He would not have given them all through layers of metaphor and riddle. Continue to question and take risks. Leave the boat, even if you might sink after a single step. How blessed we are to have a God and a community that will catch us.

Ray Czerwinski (they/she) graduates in May 2025 with a PhD in chemistry.